y did u give ur computer a hand job?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
