You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
