VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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