I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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