Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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