Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
