He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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