would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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