Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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