please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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