Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
