Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
