It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
