this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
