Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
