Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
