No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
