i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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