maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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