At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
