I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
