tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I can't put those talents on a resume
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
