Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
