john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
