Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The feeling are messing with the penis
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
