In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
