I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My legs feel like baby dolphins
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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