last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
