So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
