I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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