He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
