is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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