I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
