I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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