so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
