nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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