she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
