I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
where does the pee come out of this thing
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
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