I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
