Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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