Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
