your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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