Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You're like the curious george of whores
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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