i just google imaged poop.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
