Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
