That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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