The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
