My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
