and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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