He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
