My first STD was from a foam party
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I want to fling myself into the sun
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
