The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
