The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
